i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got chris browned last night
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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