As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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