Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
