i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
