You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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