singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
