We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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