oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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