If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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