He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My dad is sitting where you rode me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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