i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
