I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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