TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize