I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
