hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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