the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
