Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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