just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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