But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
