She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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