You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
