I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
