Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I cut my penus on the lid.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
