there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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