He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
