Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
