Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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