i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
