I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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