dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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