I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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