Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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