I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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