we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
