yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
