erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize