what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We have started to decorate penises.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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