smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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