i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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