HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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