I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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