I bet he comes in French.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Your penis caused this!
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