she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
