sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
