my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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