Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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