We won't sleep together?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
