I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
