So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
