'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
