I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
