Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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