this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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